My Experience With Bell’s Palsy.

Motherhood is precious. The cry and laughter of babies and the sound of their tiny feet running around the house as they grow, give life to the home.

You can therefore imagine the joy when the doctor confirmed I was pregnant! My happiness was palpable. I walked round the house whistling songs of gratitude ever so softly to God. I smiled from ear to ear, and laughter came forth easily.

I am married to a doting husband. From the day the news of my pregnancy was divulged to us, he would say, “Darling, don’t stress yourself”, “Dear, how is our baby?” He was more than a partner. My husband had actually wanted me to stop working until I was delivered of the baby, but I subtly convinced him that I could cope. I love working, and I didn’t think it was fair to allow the pregnancy take that away from me.

Then, like a thunderbolt, an experience hit me so hard that I imagined my world was crashing to smithereens in my very eyes. This was in the 29th week of my pregnancy. A whole year has rolled by but the memory remains quite fresh in my head, as if it all happened yesterday. I was at work one day when a binding headache struck me. I managed to hold myself against the wall to avoid falling. The headache had disappeared the way it came and I had gathered myself together. I shrugged it off. But the headache soon returned in greater intensity and turned into a continuous hammering in my head, accompanied by a ringing in my ear. Yet, I assumed that because I’ve had a history with ear problems, all I needed was waxsol (an ear wax removal) which I got from a pharmacy. Though worried, I was not perturbed enough to seek medical attention just yet. I told myself to tarry a while and also convinced my worried husband that the matter didn’t warrant medical attention at that point. I was still playing the strong girl.

Then, one day, while driving to work, I noticed I couldn’t close my right eye. To even blink became a struggle. I had to call in sick and return home, especially when nausea also set in. I needed to rest, I realized. That same day, I gradually lost control of the right side of my face. My movements kept tilting abnormally to the left. Activities such as chewing, talking or even smiling could only be on the left side of my face. I was alarmed, on the verge of panic.

I screamed when I saw my face in the mirror. The distortion happened so fast! I was overwhelmed with fear. I called out to my husband who swiftly rushed to my side. I could see the shock in his eyes too, but he held himself together. He managed to calm me down and assured me I was going to be fine. Going to be fine? I was not convinced but I didn’t have the energy to argue with him. The tears rolled in torrents. I cried uncontrollably, drenching my body and the car seat as he rushed me to the hospital.

At the emergency unit, the doctor informed us that my symptoms were those of Bell’s Palsy. He however could not make an official diagnosis so we had to wait for the specialist to come in. Bell’s Palsy? I asked, mouth in agape. I was lost and confused, I had never heard of the condition. I concluded that my end had come, indeed. I was surely looking at death.

When the Neurologist arrived, he carried out a thorough examination of my face, eyes, back, carefully observing my state of partial facial paralysis. He confirmed that it was indeed Bell’s Palsy. How I mustered the energy to fire the series of questions I asked was a surprise, but I’d asked. I sought to know how long it will take for it to heal amongst others. Before responding, the consultant flashed a reassuring smile. Looking directly into my eyes he encouraged me to be calm. He explained that although there had been situations where some people never recovered fully but remained paralyzed on one part of their face, my case was different. This information again fired my adrenaline of fear. I felt he was just being kind, giving me hope where there appeared to be none. He prescribed some medications to lubricate my eyes, an eye patch and steroids. The inclusion of steroids heightened my anxiety initially because I had been cautious not to consume anything that could result in a birth defect of my baby, but he assured me that it was safe and would not harm both my baby and I. All while my husband stood by me, rubbing my hand and back, uttering soothing and encouraging words.

From the hospital, I headed home, with the determination to know more about Bell’s Palsy. A “type of facial paralysis that results in a temporary inability to control facial muscles on the affected side of the face” was all I could get from google. I wanted more, I made calls, sent text messages, inquiring about the illness. I yearned for stories of experiences that I could relate to. My total ignorance was choking me. My body became a stranger to me. Eventually, my search led me to Youtube where I watched the few videos I could find. Although I didn’t get much from pregnant women that I could relate to, I was still able to find a common remedy used, acupuncture.

Acupuncture was another concept I wasn’t familiar with. I researched on what the process entails and got to understand it is simply a traditional Chinese medication that involves the insertion of very thin needles through the skin at strategic points on the body. It is meant to treat pain, used overall for wellness, including stress management. I sought the views of my doctor on acupuncture and he explained that there was no assurance the process could fully regenerate my nerves and heal me completely but it was a therapy that could be explored. And I was ready to explore, I told myself that an uncommon challenge demands uncommon response.

Sharing the news with my family that I had been diagnosed with Bell’s Palsy was not easy for me at all, but I had to. It hit them like a blast. I could see the fear in their eyes and the sense of helplessness in their voices. Their initial reactions bordered on hysteria. They were visibly worried about my fate. they felt I might not have been telling them the whole truth to avoid them panicking. Their calls came in barrages, day after day, to check on me. They were there for me, a solid rock from which I drew a lot of strength all through.

It was a dark moment for me. It was my first year of marriage. I was in a new environment. And I was carrying my first pregnancy. Trying to navigate through this new life was already difficult enough for me. Then Bell’s Palsy happened, pushing me to my limit. It was a struggle. Sometimes my emotions overwhelmed me, and I would let the tears roll. At other times, frustration and anxiety would conspire to tear me apart. I lost two of my most valuable emotions – my smile and my laughter. But in all these, I never for a moment slowed down in my prayers for the safety of my baby.

Finding an acupuncturist was not easy. Most of the ‘professionals’ had not worked with patients with Bell’s Palsy and only focused on relaxation and fertility. After a long, gruesomely tiring search, I found a great spot for therapeutic acupuncture and although it was difficult to get in, I remember sharing my story with them and eventually got an appointment. I was excited to begin the journey. It was a step closer to my getting better and I looked forward to every minute.

The acupuncture spot had a soothing ambience. The atmosphere was quite calm and peaceful, filled with so much positive energy. The space was beautifully designed with aesthetically appealing decorations. The beddings and stones were really nice. The needles were not as painful or scary as I thought it would be and I actually felt more relaxed with each insertion. The sessions there did wonders and had a long lasting effect on me mentally. It seemed incredible how much improvement I got.

Soon after I commenced the therapy, I began to notice slight movements on the right side of my face. I then saw an Ophthalmologist who further examined my eye. I was healing, slowly but surely. I was consistent with my acupuncture sessions while also taking medications prescribed from the hospital. Therapy helped me tremendously. I was able to talk about and deal with my anxiety and the depression that crept in.

During this journey, I prayed a lot. I spent a lot of time with God who showed up for me as always and renewed my strength. Family will always be the best support system. The prayers, words of encouragement and time together helped in pulling me from the brink.

I’ve always thought that I have a strong and resilient personality. I therefore didn’t imagine that anything could ever break and tear me apart. But then, Bell’s Palsy happened to me. The lesson for me is that as mere humans, we cannot predict tomorrow. Life is a bundle of surprises and unpredictability. We are mere pawns on the chess board called life.

I will be a liar if I tell you that it was easy. It wasn’t. I thank God, it’s all over. I am now a proud mother of an adorable, healthy baby girl and I have gotten my smile back. The Bell’s Palsy experience isn’t something I’ll wish for anyone.

I’ve shared my story in the hope that anyone going through a similar experience and looking for someone to relate to, would find some encouragement from it. To such people, know that it will not be easy but I hope you find strength and solace here. I pulled through, and you too can. Be strong.